


i know what to feel when you decide

by danhoweiis



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Break Up, Jealous Dan Howell, M/M, like so small you can barely see them, very minor swear words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-12-25 16:19:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12039645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danhoweiis/pseuds/danhoweiis
Summary: it was the weekend, 2 days after the date with his boyfriend. it was perfectly rational and normal to dream about kissing your best friend, right?well that's what phil tried to convince himself anyway.aka the one where phil has a boyfriend that isn't dan and dan tries his best not to be a jealous little bitch.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> IT'S FINALLY HERE! i have honestly been working on this fic since may and back then i had no idea it would end up being 10k words but i am soooo happy with it. 
> 
> fun fact: i clicked on this fic in my google docs back in may and had no memory of writing the first 2k words but i was struck with inspiration and decided to continue it bc i loved it so much. so pls leave comments and kudos and all that jazz, it is much appreciated.
> 
> AND FINALLY A BIG SHOUTOUT to my pal [fizzo](http://archiveofourown.org/users/fizzfic/pseuds/twoheadlights) for being the bestest beta in the world and for never getting annoyed with me when i constantly pestered her about this fic. ur a star and i would be nothing without u !!

“I don’t know how Harry can’t see how great you are. He doesn’t deserve you Phil.” Dan said, matter of factly.

“You don’t even know him Dan.”

“I know him well enough, he didn’t come to your gig the other week because he so conveniently forgot. But who was there, hm? Me.”

Dan did have a point. Phil’s band, Tape 6, had been the support act for another band and it was one of their most important shows to date, one of which Phil had been very nervous for. He would have been lying if he said he hadn’t wanted his boyfriend there to support him.

“He had a family emergency.” Phil said sounding unsure.

“Could have had the decency to tell you at least.”

Phil wrung his hands together and looked up at Dan. “Can you just drop it please?”

“Fine, fine. I am dropping it. This is me dropping the subject. Anyway, I gotta love you and leave you. Got work to do.” He stood up and patted Phil on the head. “See you in the morning.”

Phil nodded. “Hm yeah, see you then.”

Dan walked out of Phil’s bedroom and across the hall to his own bedroom leaving Phil to brood over the conversation him and Dan had just had.

He’d been with Harry for 5 months, he’d met him one night at a club when he’d gone out with his university friends and they’d clicked instantly. Things were good. Mostly. Harry cared about him, had brought him gifts, even planned a birthday surprise for Phil. No, Dan was wrong. Dan didn’t know Harry like he did. He was brought out of his thoughts by a loud ping telling him he had a text. It was from Harry.

**To Phil:**

_Sorry, can’t make dinner at yours tonight. Dad needs help with some work. This weekend?_

Phil’s smile faltered. That was the third time in two weeks Harry had cancelled on him. Maybe Dan was right.

**From Phil:**

_It’s okay :] can’t do this weekend. Got plans with dan. How about next week?_

**To Phil:**

_Yeah sure! I’ll give u a bell. Xx_

Phil read the text and locked his phone throwing it onto his bed. He lay back against the pillows and closed his eyes. Dan was wrong, him and Harry were great. Phil couldn’t think of anyone better for him. Well, maybe he could but that he didn’t like to dwell on that particular thought.

-

Now resigned to the fact he had nothing to do all evening he went downstairs and started making dinner for himself. Suddenly spaghetti and meatballs seemed a lot less exciting now he was eating it on his own.

“Shouldn’t you be waiting for Harry?” A familiar voice rung out from behind him.

“He uh… He cancelled. Family emergency.” Phil replied looking down at the bowl of spaghetti he was stirring.

Dan shook his head as he went to make a glass of water. “What did I say Phil? He obviously doesn’t want to spend time with you or care about you.”

Phil rolled his eyes and turned to face Dan. “You’re being ridiculous, you’re just jealous of him.”

“Uh, yeah I am. Are you kidding, you’re like one of the most attractive guys I’ve ever seen.” Dan grabbed a couple of breadsticks from the cupboard and took a bite. “Why wouldn’t I be jealous? He doesn’t know what he’s got, Phil.” He said in a sing-song voice as he waltzed in front of Phil and back to his bedroom.

Phil stood there, seething. He’d been able to brush off Dan’s comments before now but that really was the last straw. Of course Harry cared about him.

Dan and Phil had lived together for 3 years now and had been friends for 2 years prior to that, and never before had Dan ever showed this much distaste for someone Phil was with. Albeit there hadn’t been many people but regardless, Dan sounded like he outright hated Harry.

Now, Dan and Phil’s relationship on the other hand had always been a sort of grey area. Sure, they’d fooled around when they first became friends. Dan had come to watch one of Phil’s first shows at their local venue. Phil was 22, fresh out of university and back living with his parents whilst he tried to get his band off the ground. And he was horny. And who was he to say no to an attractive looking boy?

What started with Dan saying how much he loved Phil’s music at the bar after the band’s set, ended with a quick handjob in the toilets and hurried fingers as they tapped each others numbers into their phones.

Their friendship developed quickly, much quicker than any of Phil’s previous friendships. They went to festivals, concerts, even went on holiday together and as Dan dropped out of university in his second year Phil made the suggestion of living together and they never looked back. Of course, starting off a friendship with a handjob in a toilet cubicle of a rather grimy club in the centre of Manchester was bound to bring up complications. They’d never really talked about it. It was just something that happened and both were happy to just brush any serious conversation under the rug. Probably not the best idea.

So was Dan actually jealous? Of Harry? Or was he just being Dan. Harry truly was a decent guy and Phil couldn’t see any reason for Dan to hate him...unless.

Phil dropped the spoon he was stirring the spaghetti with into the saucepan, splattering tomato sauce everywhere and marched down the hallway into Dan’s room.

“Look, I don’t know what kind of power kick you get out of telling me Harry doesn’t like me but I’d appreciate it if you’d stop.”

Dan looked up from his laptop and chuckled. “No power kick, I just know you Phil and I know that you don’t really have any strong feelings for him.”

Phil gasped and walked closer towards Dan. “Oh really? And why’s that? Because I’m in love with you or whatever?”

“No, no. I’m not saying that.” He said quickly, his voice sounding slightly apprehensive “I’m just saying I know that Harry isn’t right for you...but...there might be someone out there who is.”

“Oh you mean you? Right.” He sat down on the edge of the bed and leant in, pressing a quick kiss to Dan’s lips. He pulled away and wiped his mouth. “See, nothing. We’re just friends Dan. I’m not breaking up with Harry.”

Dan was staring back at Phil, an awestruck look across his face. They’d never kissed, well once when they’d first met but that was about it. Their previous arrangement had consisted of handjobs and blowjobs only. No kissing.

“Well, you sure proved me wrong.” Dan smirked.

So Phil did it again, kissing him for a little longer before pulling away. “I...see. Nothing, a-and I’m sorry if you feel any different but I don’t.”

“No, that’s fine Phil. But my goodness me whatever will Harry have to say about this.” He said, putting on a fake posh accent. “Whatever would he say if he found out you had been covorting with me? You’re a taken man Phil, it’d be a scandal!” He mocked.

Phil tried to suppress a smile and instead opted for shoving Dan’s shoulder. “Shut up.” He said before standing up and turning to leave the room. Before he reached the door he turned around quickly, “Do you want any of this spaghetti I’m making?”

Dan looked up again and grinned. “Now if there’s one thing I won’t say no to, it’s pasta.”

Whilst Phil finished preparing the food, Dan got out 2 plates for the food and poured them both glasses of Ribena. With the earlier conversation seemingly forgotten they both settled down in their lounge for the night with pasta in their bellies, topped off with an intense Mario Kart tournament that ended up with 1 broken glass and a large circular bruise on Phil’s left shin.

“Why’d you have to throw the controller?” Phil said, rubbing his leg.

“Because Wario threw that red shell on purpose. I was in 1st!” He protested.

Phil just chuckled and looked at Dan “You still were in 1st Dan, you still won the tournament.”

“That is besides the point, my position was compromised.” Dan said as he collected the pieces of broken glass from the floor.

“Well, you still won. Congratulations. House champion yet again.”

Dan grinned smugly and took a bow. “It was a pleasure to race against you Phil.”

Phil knew no matter what happened in their personal lives they’d always be friends. For example the argument, that had happened a mere 3 hours ago had been forgotten and they were acting like nothing had happened. Because, nothing had happened. Not really anyway, nothing worth fighting with your best friend over.

-

 _Who the fuck is ringing our doorbell at_ \- he checked his watch- _10am in the morning._ Phil stumbled his way downstairs and pushed open the door to see.

“Harry, hey what are you doing here?” He said sounding startled.

“I wanted to make up for being a shit boyfriend lately. I know I haven't been great but I'm gonna make it up to you. Starting with these,” He pulled out a bouquet of purple and blue flowers from behind his back.

“Your favourite colours remember?”

Phils eyes were wide in disbelief. “Yes yes.” He said sounding confused as he took them from Harry's hand. “Thank you, come in, come in.”

They walked into the lounge and Phil went to put the flowers into a vase before joining Harry on the sofa.

“Thank you though, really. Couldn't have delivered them at a normal time though could you? 10am is a bit early.” He swung his legs over Harry's lap.

“10 is a normal time. Not everyone is nocturnal like you.” He said with a giggle as he kissed Phil on the cheek.

Just then Dan walked into the lounge, yawning loudly “Good morning lovebirds.”

“G’morning Daniel.” Phil replied as Harry reached to grab Phil's hand and hold it protectively.

“He's never normally this cheerful in a morning?” Harry questioned.

“Yeah it's because-”

But Dan interrupted him. “That is because, Harold my good chum I, for the fifth month running, won the Monthly Mario Kart House Championship!” He said proudly.

“He likes to gloat, can you tell?” Phil said into Harry's ear.

“Philip my dear, I am simply celebrating my win. With porridge and shameless gloating.”

Phil shook his head and laughed, turning back to Harry who had a somewhat forced smile on his face.

“I never really got into Mario Kart. Anyway, I was thinking how about a date night tonight? You and me, dinner and the cinema? My treat?”

Phil grinned. “Yeah I'd love to. Seems like ages since our last one.”

“It’s a date then.” Harry confirmed. “I gotta dash now, got an important meeting.” He pushed Phil's legs off his lap and stood up, walking to the door. “I'll see you later? About 6?”

Phil nodded and leant in to kiss Harry on the lips. “Have a nice day.” he waved, closing the door behind him and walking into the kitchen to Dan.

“He's compensating.” Dan’s voice rung out.

“He's being a good boyfriend Dan, he's been busy lately.”

“Too busy to even see you for 10 minutes? I've told you Phil, he's not worth it. You could do so much better. Like _me_ for example.” He spun round and walked over to Phil and held onto his arm.

“Get off.” Phil said swatting Dan's hand away. “I'm not dumping him to date you, you're my best friend.”

“Exactly Phil,” He tapped his spoon on Phil's chest. “Exactly, we already have something you and Harry don't. Things in common. Like a love for Mario Kart tournaments and cute anime boys.”

“Couples don’t have to have everything in common Dan. And just because Harry doesn’t like Mario Kart or anime doesn’t mean he doesn’t love me.”

Dan stepped back and looked at Phil blankly “So he’s told you then? That he loves you?”

“Oh...Uh, No but...I love him…” Phil hesitated.

“You should tell him then. I’m sure he’ll be very happy.” Dan almost spat as he turned and left towards the kitchen.

-

It was 5:30pm and Phil was getting ready for Harry to pick him up. His bed was covered in 10 different shirts that he had been deciding between for the past hour. He eventually settled on a navy blue one with a flamingo pattern. He looked over himself in the mirror before sighing and reluctantly heading into Dan’s room. “Does this shirt look too fancy for the cinema?”

Dan looked up from his laptop and smiled “Nah, you look nice. Just let me sort out your collar.” He stood up and walked across the room where he straightened out Phil’s collar and brushed some fluff from the shoulders. “I’d definitely be jealous of Harry with you looking like this.”

Phil rolled his eyes “Shut up.”

“Well excuse me for telling the truth.” He replied sarcastically.

“Just let me have a nice evening with my boyfriend, okay Dan?” He said as he smoothed over his shirt in Dan’s mirror “...and I’ll answer the door when he arrives. Don’t scare him off.”

Dan gasped “As if I would dare?” He said mockingly “I am a decent human being, you know?”

Phil glanced up and looked at Dan, a smile on his face “Yeah, I know you are.”

It was almost 6:30pm before Harry arrived. He was half an hour late but Phil knew he’d been working and had a good excuse.

“Hey, you ready Phil?” Harry said as Phil opened the door. He was still wearing his work suit and looked as if he had practically ran to Phil’s flat.

“Yeah, sure.” Phil beamed. “Laters Dan.” He called as he grabbed his house key and closed the door behind him.

“I’m sorry I’m late, a meeting ran over and I practically sprinted to my car to get here.”

Feeling satisfied with the reasoning Phil returned a smile as he got into the passenger side of Harry’s car. “It’s fine, you’re here now.” He said, looking Harry over and noticing his shirt. “Is that a new shirt? It’s nice.”

Harry looked down at his shirt and back up at Phil. “Oh no, had it ages. Just hardly worn it.”

“Oh right. Well, it’s nice.” Phil replied. “I think green is your colour.”

“Never really liked the colour much myself, my mum got me the shirt though and I feel guilty not wearing it.” He chuckled as he drove off down Phil’s street and into town.

 _Jeez. Could the guy not take a compliment?_ Phil thought. It was weird how he’d just brushed off any sort of affection or nicety Phil had offered. Did he not want to be told he looked nice? Phil definitely did. Whenever he went shopping with Dan, he would always say which shirts suited Phil the most. Crap. Why was he thinking about Dan, on a date with Harry?

After a short 15 minute drive they arrived at the retail park complete with chain restaurants, a bowling alley and a cinema.

“I called ahead and booked us a table at Pizza Express.” Harry said. “I get company discount so I thought why not.”

Phil grinned “Perfect! You know how much I love pizza.” He said as they strolled across the car park. He reached to grasp Harry’s hand but Harry quickly slipped his arm around Phil’s waist as they headed into the restaurant.

Phil had noticed that about him. Harry wasn't really the touchy feely sort. He would usually opt for putting his arm around Phil's waist or a hand on his shoulder rather than holding hands. But it made Phil feel safe and like he was wanted.

-

Really, the date was fine. Harry was a gentleman and pulled out his chair for Phil when they were seated, he even bought Phil popcorn and had let him choose the film. But for some reason, and Phil couldn’t quite put his finger on it, the date just wasn’t perfect and was missing something.

Harry seemed oddly distant. Like he was constantly looking around for someone else who would be joining them. Phil questioned him of course but was just met with Harry's warm smile and a reassuring hand on Phil's arm.

“Do you want-”

“Sorry I can’t-”

They both started at the same time in the car on the drive home. “You go first.” Phil chuckled.

“Right, I was just gonna say I can’t stay over tonight. I have a meeting at 8am tomorrow, sorry.”

Phil’s face dropped a little “Oh right, that’s uh- that’s what I was gonna ask you.” He chuckled lightly, trying not to sound too disappointed.

“I’m free at the weekend though Phil, don’t worry.”

Phil mumbled a noise of approval as he glanced out of the window. Harry had a busy job, it wasn’t his fault he couldn’t see Phil as much as Phil would like but it still hurt. That was when Harry reached out his hand and squeezed Phil’s thigh gently.

“I’ll make it up to you this weekend, sorry I’ve been so busy lately.” He said apologetically.

Any feelings of negativity Phil had been feeling were brushed aside and he looked across at Harry and smiled. “Yeah, that’d be nice.”

Dan was definitely wrong. Of course Harry cared about him, you don’t say things like that and buy people dinner and their cinema ticket if you don’t care about them.

Dan was still up when Phil arrived back at his flat. He unlocked the door, and toed off his shoes in the hallway before entering the lounge.

“So Romeo and Juliet how was the da-” Dan started before he turned around to see Phil alone. “Oh, uh...where’s Harry?”

“He has a really important meeting tomorrow morning so he couldn’t stay.” Phil said trying to sound sure of himself.

“Oh right.” Dan nodded. “How was the date anyway?”

“Really good actually.” Phil said flopping down next to Dan on the sofa. “He paid for dinner and bought me popcorn.”

“Ooooooh, what a gentleman.” Dan said, putting on a fake posh accent. “Did he pick you up in a horse and carriage, or was it his butler that fetched you?”

Phil elbowed Dan in the ribs “Shut up, it was a nice date. We just had pizza.” He said letting out a soft laugh.

“No salmon pate and caviar then?” Dan japed as he stood up to turn off the TV.

Phil slumped back in the sofa and scrolled through his phone “No, but next time we do I’ll invite you along. Should feel right at home eating that, shouldn’t you?” Phil mocked.

“Oh, ha-ha very funny. Sorry for having such an articulate accent, I’m surprised Harry can understand what you’re saying with those Northern tones.”

Phil chuckled lightly as he locked his phone and shoved it in his pocket. “I’m gonna head to bed.”

He turned around quickly and slumped up the stairs as Dan watched him. Shaking his head from his daze, Dan followed suit and headed up the stairs to bed, glancing across at Phil’s bedroom door before heading into his own.


	2. Chapter 2

It was the weekend, 2 days after his date with Harry and it was perfectly rational and normal to dream about kissing your best friend, right? This is what Phil tried to convince himself when he was jolted awake at 7:30am anyway. Of course it was, perfectly normal. Maybe not when you had a boyfriend of your own but that was something Phil tried to blank out as his brain ran through the details of the dream.

His bed. Dan. Dan kissing _him_. Dan kissing _him_ on _his_ bed.

He shook his head to get the image out of his brain which did nothing except make his head ache and remind himself that he needed to pee.

When he headed down the hall to the bathroom he passed Dan in the kitchen, singing to the radio as he made coffee. He smiled to himself as he heard the familiar sounds of Dan making coffee and cereal and singing whatever Kanye song was stuck in his head this particular day.

It was a Saturday and considering the weekend was supposed to be for resting Phil had 2 million and one things to do. His band had a headline show in 2 weeks. In front of a crowd of around 100 people which was a big deal. But, he still hadn't ordered their new merchandise or booked a new photographer. He was that busy running through schedules and emails he needed to send he didn’t realise he had wandered into the kitchen.

“Hello? Earth to Phil?” Dan said, waving his arms in Phil’s face.

Phil came back to reality and looked around the kitchen. “Sorry, just running through all the jobs I need to get done today. Our show is in 2 weeks, why did I leave everything to the last minute? You’ve been a bad influence on me.” He said, walking over to the kettle and flicking it on.

“Oh, I was gonna ask you about that. Have you sorted out a photographer?” Dan asked, leaning against the kitchen counter and sipping on his coffee.

“Oh, no. Our usual one pulled out because he’s going on holiday and I’ve been frantically ringing up to find one cheap enough. I was gonna do that today.”

“Well, I could do it?” Dan offered.

“What? But you know nothing about photography.”

“Phil, I am offended. Yes I do.”

“If you’re talking about that 2 week course you did 3 summers ago.”

“That’s the one. Come on Phil, you’re desperate. I’m happy to do it for free.”

Phil hmm-ed and ahh-ed before eventually giving in which resulted in Dan almost spilling his coffee as he grinned widely.

“Great, thanks. I’ll be good I promise.”

“You better.” He said, his voice stern. “Jamie is gonna be there and I know what you’re like.”

Dan clutched his chest and scoffed. “Phil, I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’ll be good as gold.” He said winking in Phil’s direction.

"Hmm, don’t shoot me if I say I don’t quite believe you.” He said, pulling out his usual cereal choice and pouring himself a bowl.

-

Phil had done some work. He had really. He’d sent off an order for their new merchandise and sent some emails to possible agents and local magazines in the hopes they would attend their gig. So when Harry texted him at 2pm asking if he could come over for the afternoon he didn’t feel too guilty.

“Don’t suppose you could retreat to your bedroom for the afternoon, Dan? Harry is coming over and we’re going to finish catching up with The Apprentice.”

Dan rolled his eyes and reluctantly gathered up his packet of biscuits “Phil, you don’t even like that show.” He said, a mouthful of chocolate digestives.

“I do. Harry finds it interesting and I like watching Alan Sugar fire people.” He said, trying to defend himself.

“Whatever you say Phil.” Dan replied, just as the doorbell rang. He headed out into the hall to open the door and greet Harry. “I shall leave you two alone now then, seeing as Phil has kicked me out.” He called from the hallway, just loud enough so that Phil could hear him.

Both Harry and Phil turned around and Phil chuckled, “I didn’t kick you out, I asked you to leave nicely.”

“That’s what he wants you to think, Harry.” Dan said, pointing his finger at Phil. “Don’t trust his charming looks. Those piercing blue eyes are deadly!” His voice drifted through the door as he headed up the stairs to his bedroom.

Harry watched after him and laughed slightly before turning back to Phil. “Is Dan gay then?”

Phil looked up from where he was tidying up Dan’s mess and gulped. Well, that was an unexpected question. “Uh, yeah. Well, he’s bi. I thought I told you that?” “No. You failed to mention that.”

Phil tensed slightly at Harry’s cold tone. “You don’t need to worry, if that’s what you’re thinking. Me and Dan are just friends.” He chuckled to try and lighten the mood.

“Why would I be worried? Doesn’t really seem your type anyway.” Harry commented as he sat down on the sofa and looked up at Phil. “So, are we watching The Apprentice then?”

Phil had zoned out. His brain concentrating on the words ‘not your type’. What did Harry mean? Why wasn’t Dan his type? Was that his way of saying Dan was ugly? Or that Dan was too good for Phil?

“Phil? Apprentice?” Harry prompted. Phil blinked and looked at Harry. “Oh yeah, sorry. Do you want a drink?” 10 minutes and 2 glasses of ribena later they were sat on the sofa as the title sequence of The Apprentice started. Harry’s hand was resting on Phil’s thigh as he watched the screen intently.

Phil was leaning into Harry, not paying much attention to the TV but instead running the conversation (if you can call it that) they’d just had over in his head. Did Harry think Dan was ugly? Not attractive? Why would Dan not be his type? Dan was cute, and kind and caring? Did Harry not like Dan? And if that was the case, why didn’t he like Dan?

“Do you like Dan? I mean, as a person?”

Harry turned his head to Phil. “What? Where’d that come from?”

“Oh, uh...nothing I’m just wondering.”

“Well, I mean...I don’t hate him.”

Harry definitely hated Dan. Oh god. His boyfriend hated his best friend.

“...I just mean, he’s a little loud sometimes you know? And kinda obnoxious?”

Phil had to agree, Dan was loud. And obnoxious. But never in a serious way, Phil always knew that was just how Dan was.

“Oh right, he is loud sometimes. I think it’s just how he is.” Phil chuckled.

“I guess he’s just not the sort of person I’d be friends with. But I don’t hate him.”

Phil nodded and smiled up at Harry. “No I get that, sorry.” He quickly turned back to look at the screen.

The rest of the afternoon passed in what was a somewhat strange silence. Phil had spent the afternoon with his head leaning against Harry’s shoulder, Harry’s arm wrapped loosely around Phil’s shoulders. In actual fact, unlike their earlier conversation, Harry was being unusually couple-y with him.

It reached 7pm, with 4 episodes of The Apprentice consumed Harry checked his watch and said it was time he had to leave.

“Oh right, are you busy this evening?” Phil asked.

“Got some work to do, I hate to leave but if I don’t get it done it means overtime in the week when I could be seeing you.” He smiled at Phil as he rubbed his hand over Phil’s thigh.

Phil’s face softened and his chest felt warm. “How sweet,” He smiled. He’d obviously just been missing Phil which would account for the daytime cuddling, a rarity in their relationship.

Harry leant in to kiss him softly on the cheek before Phil pulled back. “Wait, could I not come back with you tonight? I have some work to do for our gig in a couple of weeks. We could work in silence together?”

Harry hesitated. “Oh, yeah I guess. What work do you have to do?”

“It’s just some admin, I’m in charge of ordering the new merch and I need to email the venue.”

Harry nodded as he shrugged his jacket on. “Can’t believe I have a boyfriend who’s in a band. I feel like a groupie!” He chuckled.

“Can’t believe I have a boyfriend who works in advertising.” Phil laughed. “Let me grab my stuff and I’ll be right down.”

Phil headed upstairs to pack his bag and headed into Dan’s room to say goodbye.

“I’m going to Harry’s for the night, won’t be too lonely without me will you?” He teased.

“Oh I shall try and cope Phil, hopefully the crippling loneliness won’t consume me. Have fun.” He smiled sincerely at him as Phil headed to pack his bags.

-

A week had passed since Phil had stayed over at Harry’s. It had been pretty uneventful except for the fact Dan had been taking photographs of everything. Phil was sure there wasn’t an item in their flat that hadn’t been put under Dan’s photographic eye. He was starting to regret asking him to photograph his band now.

Phil was in the middle of deciding which shirt would go best with his red bomber jacket when the doorbell rang. “Dan can you get that? It’s Harry.” He called from his bedroom. Harry had invited him over for a Sunday roast and he wanted to make sure he looked somewhat presentable.

“I’m not your butler Phil.” Dan called back, pushing himself up from the sofa and answering the door.

“His lordship is just finishing getting ready, something about the wrong cuff links.” Dan joked.

Harry let out a weak laugh and walked past Dan into the lounge. Dan followed him and sat back down in his spot, picking up his laptop to finish off the work he was doing.

A few minutes passed in silence before Dan decided to speak up.

“Phil told me about that big advertising job you’re working on?” He asked.

“Oh...yeah. It’s pretty hush hush though, can’t really talk about it outside of the office.”Harry said, crossing over his legs and sitting up a little straighter.

Dan nodded. “Right.” He said going silent again. “You’re not letting Phil cook this dinner are you? Because let me tell you he’s awful, he managed to burn pasta the other week? Pasta?” He laughed.

“No I’m cooking. Thankfully.”

Phil headed onto the landing to come down the stairs when he heard Harry and Dan chatting. Remembering, the conversation with Harry a couple of days ago he rushed down the stairs.

“Not talking about me are you?” Phil said, straightening the collar on his shirt.

“Of course we are, telling Harry here what an excellent cook you are.” He said looking across at Harry who was looking slightly awkward.

“Hey now. I’m not that bad, I make a good curry!” He protested.

“That’s just what I told him.” Dan whispered behind his hand towards Harry, just loud enough so that Phil could hear him.

“Oh piss off!” Phil scolded, shoving Dan’s shoulder. “Anyway, it’s Harry cooking for me tonight. I am honoured.”

Harry smiled and walked over to Phil, touching his hand to Phil’s arm to guide him out of the flat.

“Don’t believe what Dan says please. I accidentally burnt some pasta the other week and he’s never let me live it down . But, what he won’t tell you is that for the first month of university he also kept burning pasta because he didn’t know you had to add water.” Phil chuckled as the climbed into Harry’s car.

Harry let out a meek chuckle as he started the engine. “Doesn’t everyone know how to cook pasta? I thought it was pretty self explanatory.”

“Apparently not to Dan!”

Harry didn’t respond as they headed off to Harry’s apartment.

The evening went quite well. Phil was trusted with chopping the vegetables which he managed to do without cutting himself.

“Now I call that a success!” Phil said as he held up his hands and turned them round. “No cuts.”

Harry chuckled. “Well done, anyone would think you were 5 years old.”

“Yeah, Da-I mean...people have said I have the imagination of a kid in pre-school.” He chuckled.

He went to wash his hands and was drying his hands on a towel when an idea popped into his head. “Hey, we should go to one of those couples cooking classes together. It’d be cool to cook food and mingle with other couples.” He grinned enthusiastically.

Harry looked up from the chicken he was slicing up onto a plate. “A couples cooking class? Really? Isn’t that kind of weird?”

“Not really. I mean we are couple, we can cook.”

“I know that, it’s just aren’t they usually like a 2 month course? Plus we’d have to pay for it all up front. It’s a lot of money and commitment when we could just cook at my house or yours.”

“I guess…” Phil replied, sounding disheartened. “Mind you I’d have probably burnt the food and set the kitchen on fire.” He chuckled, trying to continue the conversation. “It’s probably for the best.”

“Yeah.” Harry said, smiling up at Phil.

-

“I told you he’d forget Phil. Didn’t you say he was super busy this week?”

“Yes.” Phil snapped. “But he’ll be here, he’s probably stuck in traffic or something.”

It had now been well over an hour since Harry was supposed to pick him up so they could go out for dinner, and Phil was getting impatient.

“Why don’t you just call him?” Dan suggested from across the lounge where he was sat on the armchair.

“Fine. I will.” He said sharply as he dialled Harry’s number and pressed the phone to his ear.

“Phil, uh hey? Everything alright?” Harry said when he answered.

“Oh I’m fine. I was uh-just wondering where you were? Are you stuck in traffic?” Phil asked calmly.

“No, I-uh...I’m at the office Phil. We have this huge project and evaluation next week, I barely had time to get lunch today.” He chuckled.

Phil felt his heart sink. “Oh...right.”

Dan was watching Phil from the sofa. When he heard Phil’s response he knew instantly that Harry had clearly forgotten.

“It’s just that, well...Harry we had plans tonight. Remember? We were gonna go out for sushi.”

Now it was Harry’s turn to feel incredibly guilty. “Oh god. Phil I’m so sorry. This week has just been mental. Can we take a raincheck? We’ll go out next week.”

Normally Phil would have been able to keep his cool but something inside of him turned. “This is like the 5th date now that you've cancelled. I l-love you, the least you could do is appear to care.”

Well. That certainly silenced Harry (and Dan who was still sat on the sofa, listening into the conversation.)

“Wait, you what? You love me?”

Phil stayed silent and ran a hand through his hair. “Well, yeah. I mean we've been together 5 months. D-do you not?” Phil dared to ask. “Well... I mean it's not that i don't care about you Phil, but it's only been 5 months. I still like you and I care about you.”

Phil felt his cheeks heat up, both embarrassed and angry. “Right. Well have fun at work Harry.” He said bluntly “Bye.”

“Fu- Phil, wa-” Was all Harry managed to get out before Phil hung up.

“Happy now? Got what you wanted, didn’t you?” He said bitterly at Dan, throwing himself into the armchair.

“Phil...I...I didn’t want to be right. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, well. You were.” He said quietly as he fiddled with a loose thread on the cushion he was hugging against his chest.

5 minutes of silence passed, Dan not daring to say anything.

“Fuck, you know what. fuck it, I still have a reservation. Come on Dan we're going, now.” Phil said, standing up and walking over to the mirror to wipe his eyes and fix his hair.

Not wanting to argue with an already tense Phil, Dan quickly grabbed his coat and shoes and followed Phil out of the door.

-

3 hours later they were in a taxi back to their flat, suitably tipsy (Phil more so than Dan) and full of sushi.

“Right. Be honest Phil…” Dan said, staring directly at him. “How much more fun was tonight because you were with me and not Harry?”

Phil shoved Dan’s shoulder. “Shut up. He’s my boyfriend and you’re my best friend, I can’t pick!”

“You can! Look, if it’s me you can just say Phiiiiiil.” He said, leaning in closer to Phil.

“I’m not picking Dan, you’re both as good as each other!”

That point was only reaffirmed when they got back to their flat 20 minutes later and Phil had Dan pressed up against the wall in their hallway as he kissed him feverishly. About 10 minutes later something in Phil's head clicked and he seemed to realise what he was doing. He removed himself from Dan’s lips and retreated to his own bedroom, leaving a red faced and panting Dan leaning up against the wall.


	3. Chapter 3

The regret settled in Phil’s stomach at around 9:10am the next morning when he woke up. Regret with a side of headache, creeping across his forehead. He was an idiot, a fucking idiot. If he was sensible, he’d stop fooling around with Dan and put an end to whatever it was they had going on. But, Phil wasn’t that sensible and instead opted to text his bandmate PJ for advice on what to do.

Whilst waiting for a response, breakfast and coffee seemed like a good idea so Phil begrudgingly climbed out of his bed and headed to the kitchen.

“Oh, morning sleepyhead.” Dan greeted as Phil walked in.

Phil groaned and rubbed his eyes. “No noise, too loud.”

Dan could all but laugh as he looked at Phil in his sorry state “Oh dear, I think someone is feeling the effects of 1 too many strawberry daiquiris.”

Phil was fumbling in the cupboards for a glass and paracetamol. “If you say one more word, I'll stab you.” He threatened, picking up the nearest item he could find and thrusting it in Dan's direction.

“What, with a teaspoon? Good luck with that Phil.” Dan chuckles.

-

He met PJ for coffee at the nearest cafe an hour later and prepared himself to spill his guts out to PJ.

“Well, Phil. Seems you do have a dilemma.” PJ said, some 15 minutes later. “Yeah no shit.”

“I mean, it’s obvious what to do isn’t it. I mean, do you like Harry? And I mean really like, in a romantic sense not just as an acquaintance.”

“Well obviously, he’s my boyfrie-”

“But do you really? Or are you just staying with him because you don’t want to hurt him. Because, staying with him now if you don’t feel anything for him is still hurting him.”

“But I...I mean, he’s nice. We get along really well.”

“Look, I’m not gonna tell you to break up with you boyfriend and run away into the sunset with Dan but I’ve known you and Dan for nearly 5 years now and you seem to be way more comfortable with him than you are with Harry.”

Phil sipped on his coffee, thinking about what PJ had said. “Harry hasn’t done anything wrong though, I mean, he’s forgotten a few dates but so what. He has a busy job.”

“People don’t have to do something wrong for you to break up with them. Sometimes people just aren’t right together.”

With PJ’s words sounding in his head Phil headed back to his apartment. 

-

Unfortunately (or rather, fortunately) for Phil his time with Harry was limited over the next couple of weeks as band practice took over his life. They had their first headline show in a week and Phil would be lying if he said he wasn’t stressed.

They’d just finished a practice run through of their set and Dan had come along to take some promotional photos for them. Dan was now sat on the edge of the stage, his legs swinging and banging against the sides of it.

“Glad I could help out tonight.” Dan said, as Phil finished packing away his kit.

“Well, thanks for offering. Your mediocre knowledge of photography has come in useful.” Phil chuckled. “Plus, I know you’re only here because you fancy Jamie.” Phil said turning to him, a smirk playing at his lips.

“Oh, you’re gonna call me out for finding a guy attractive? Then fucking sue me.”

Phil chuckled “No, no. You’re allowed to like who you want Dan.” He said as they headed through the back door to head into the dressing room.

The rest of Phil’s bandmates were already there, discussing how the practice went, and Dan and Phil went to sit down on the empty seats at the side of the room.

“Thanks again Dan for helping out.” Jamie said as he finished packing away his guitar.

“Yeah, you’re such a lifesaver.” Ryan, the drummer, added.

“Oh, it’s no problem. Glad my expert photography skills could be of assistance.”

“You took a photography class 3 summers ago that hardly makes you an expert.” Phil chimed in.

“More of an expert than you.” Dan commented.

There was a chorus of ‘ooh’s’ from Phil’s other bandmates.

“He has a point Phil.” Jamie said. “You really helped us out mate.” He smiled sweetly at Dan. “Oh, anything for you. Working with you guys is a pleasure.” He said, his words dripping with smugness, before he turned his head to Phil and winked so as nobody else could see.

“You’re fucking awful.” He said, leaning forward to whisper into Dan’s ear.

“And you’re just jealous.” Dan smirked.

Phil was not and had never been jealous. If Dan wanted to flirt with his bandmates then he could, Phil wasn’t his mum.

“Come on,” He said, tapping Dan’s arm and standing up. “We should be going.”

“Oh come on Phil. Let the man stay. You’re not his mum.” Jamie chimed, smiling across at Dan.

“Yeah, let me stay Phil.” Dan mocked.

“Whatever, just thought it’d save money on taxis.” He said. Not in any mood to argue Phil went over to grab his backpack and guitar case. “I'm tired so I'll head off. See you guys tomorrow.”

He wasn't really tired he just wasn't in any mind to make conversation. He ended up back at his flat, half an hour later watching repeats of Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares whilst trying not to eat an entire packet of chocolate biscuits.

-

**To: Harry**

_Dinner tonight? My treat :3 x_

**From: Harry**

_Yeah. i can be at yours for half 6 :)_

They hadn’t seen each other properly for just over a week. Turns out band practice takes up a lot of free time. Phil had spent almost every evening for the past 2 weeks rehearsing from 5pm until 11pm. So he had taken the plunge, jumped right in at the deep end with his eyes closed and texted Harry to arrange a date. He couldn’t avoid him forever.

Perhaps luckily for him, Dan was away working all day so when it came to 6pm (half an hour before Harry was due to arrive) he didn’t have anyone to distract him. 10 outfit changes later and after a meticulous 15 minutes spent flossing his teeth Harry was ringing his doorbell.

“Hey. Thought you’d dropped off the face of the planet.” Harry greeted.

“Oh no, you’d have definitely heard about that. ‘Local man gets abducted by aliens’” He chuckled. “It’d be headline news.”

“I forgot how weird you were.” Harry grinned. “You ready to go?”

Phil nodded and followed Harry to his car.

“I’m sorry I’ve been s-”

“Sorry about the other wee-”

They both started at the same time once they were in the car.

“I uh- sorry I’ve been so busy lately. Band practice kinda takes over your life.”

“Oh, it’s fine. No worries Phil, You’ve got an important show you need to practice for.”

Phil nodded and sighed. “Yeah. What were you gonna say?”

“Oh just...you know, about the other week. Haven’t seen you since...I’m sorry I forgot. About the date.”

Memories of the conversation Phil had been trying to forget flooded his brain and he just swallowed and turned his head to look out of the window. “It’s...It’s fine.”

The rest of the journey was done in silence before they arrived at the Italian restaurant they usually went to. Phil couldn’t explain why he felt so tense, he thought at any moment Harry was about to stand up and storm out of the restaurant.

It had only been a week since they last saw each other but for some reason it felt like 4. This coupled with the paranoia that had been settling in for the past week that Harry didn’t like him anymore and was just waiting for the right opportunity to leave him. He’d replayed around 5 conversations in his head where Harry broke up with him and left him and each one had left Phil with an empty sort of feeling.

“Did you know that Americans eat approximately 100 acres of pizza a day?”Phil said as they ordered their pizzas. “That’s about 350 slices per second.”

Harry chuckled and looked up from his drink. “I did actually, you told me that on our first date.”

Well now he was fucked. He didn’t even have any new icebreakers.

“Oh right.” He chuckled nervously. “Still, can you imagine eating that much pizza? You’d explode.”

“I don’t think it’s possible for one person to eat 350 slices per second anyway Phil.”

“That’s true. Never mind.”

A silence settled between them again. It had never been this awkward between them.

-

Harry pulled up outside Phil’s flat later that evening and being the gentleman he was walked Phil up to his front door.

“Thanks for dinner. It was nice.” Harry said in Phil’s hallway as he dropped him back off.

“Oh it was no problem, don’t worry. I’ll see you soon, yeah?”

“Yeah…” Harry replied softly. “Actually, uh...I just wanted to say before I go. About the other week...what you said, did you...did you mean it?”

Phil felt his cheeks heat up and his chest tighten. “Y-y-yeah...I did.”

“Are you sure?”

“I…”

“Because...I don’t know how to say this without sounding like an ass but. I don’t. Not yet anyway. It’s only been 5 months Phil.”

Only. _Only_ 5 months.

“Oh right. I’m sorry. Are we going too fast? Because in my head I thought 5 months was quite a long time?” Wow. Where did that sarcasm from.

Harry looked taken aback. “N-no, well. It is a long time but…”

“But what? Are you not as committed as me? Is that it?”

Phil didn’t know where this anger was coming from but it had clearly been building up for some time.

“What? Phil of course, of course I am.” He said, walking closer. “I just...I don’t think I want something this serious.”

Phil’s jaw dropped slightly. So he was right. Dan was right. Harry didn’t care about him as much as he did. Well fuck Harry, and fuck Dan.

“I’m sorry. Fuck, I feel like the world’s biggest dick. I just didn’t expect all this, I thought it’d be a nice little fling for a few months then you uh...you told me you loved me a week ago and it fucked me up.” He chuckled. “I didn’t know what to say, it scared me.”

Oh. Something clicked inside Phil and his anger dissolved when Harry said the word _scared._  

“I’m sorry Harry.” He said quietly. “I...I guess I just thought you cared as much as I do.”

“Please don’t think I don’t care Phil. I do. I care a lot, you’re a great guy. You’re wonderful and funny and talented and insanely attractive," He chuckled. "I just don’t think…”

“...you’re the one for me? Yeah...I uh, I was thinking that.”

Harry swallowed and looked at Phil, a small smile on his face. “So are we? Are we...breaking up.”

Phil smiled at him and moved closer so he could reach out and touch Harry’s arm. “I think so.” He said sadly.

Harry smiled back and moved forward to wrap his arms around Phil in a tight hug. Phil hugged him back before pulling away. “I’ll uh...see you around.”

“Of course you will. Just because we broke up doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. I’ll be at your gig in a couple weeks for sure.”

Phil smiled as he opened the door for him and watched him head down the path towards his car. He waited until Harry had driven away and down the street before closing the door and heading into the lounge.

Dan was sat on the sofa, trying to avoid Phil’s eye contact.

“Fucking hell, did you hear all that?”

Dan stayed silent as Phil sat down on the armchair, tucking his knees into his chest.

“Well there you go, go ahead and gloat or say I told you so.” Phil mumbled.

“As if I would ever Phil.” He said softly. He stood up and walked over to sit on the arm of the chair and wrapped his arm around Phil’s shoulders. “I’m sorry.”

They stayed like that for 15 minutes before Dan decided to take action.

“Right, enough wallowing. Let's play Mario Kart or something. Stay there and I will be back with ice cream, popcorn, chocolate, coffee. Whatever you want, I’ll bring it.”

Phil looked up at let himself smile. “Yeah, thanks Dan.” He said quietly.

Dan managed to coax Phil out of the armchair and they sat on the sofa underneath blankets. Dan opted instead to put some old Buffy episodes on which didn’t require much concentration.

They sat in mostly silence, Phil sipping his coffee and eating from the bowl of popcorn Dan had brought in. He wasn’t paying much attention to the TV and was instead frantically running through everything he had ever done with Harry. Had Harry ever liked him? Maybe it was Phil’s fault they weren’t right for each other. Maybe the whole break up was Phil’s fault.

It was like he was arguing with himself, one half of his brain telling him that it was good they broke up, it wasn’t working and the logical thing to do was break up. And the other half, well that side was a little louder. Like a 5 year old having a tantrum, shouting and screaming that this was all a terrible mistake and he had to get back together with Harry right now.

Fortunately for Phil the voices seemed to get quieter as he drifted off to sleep. His body slowly leaning into Dan’s until his head was leaning against Dan’s shoulder. Dan looked down at him and smiled. This would be okay for just one night wouldn’t it? Phil had just gone through a breakup and it was Dan’s job to comfort him.

-

“How you feeling?” Dan asked as he trudged into the kitchen at 9:30am the next morning.

“Alright, I guess.” Phil said, sipping on his 2nd cup of coffee this morning. He’d been awake since 6am and as the clock had ticked over to 7am he decided he was fed up of staring at his white ceiling and had gotten out of bed, watched an episode of Planet Earth and made himself some breakfast.

“We can talk about it...if you want?”

“There’s nothing to talk about. We broke up. That’s it.”

And the conversation ended there.

-

Dan’s one and only method of helping Phil get over the breakup was to distract him. Fortunately for Phil The day after the break-up he had band practice from 1pm until 6pm. It took a lot of coaxing from Dan (Dan practically had to dress Phil and pull him down the stairs) but they were finally in a taxi on the way to practice.

“Why can’t you let me mope? My duvet was cosy and warm and you ruined it.”

“Because, you have a show in a week and a half and considering you’re the guitar player you’re kind of an integral part of the band.”

Phil pouted and turned to look out of the window, mumbling something under his breath about how the band would be fine without him and Dan was evil for dragging him out of his duvet cave.

Phil didn’t want to admit it but Dan was right. 3 hours into the practice and he hadn’t thought about Harry once. That was until Jamie and his big mouth asked if he wanted to come out with them for drinks before quickly remembering “Oh you probably have plans with Harry.”

Phil looked up and put on his best ‘I’m-absolutely-fine-there-is-nothing-wrong-with-me’ smile. “Actually. Me and Harry broke up. So yeah, I’d love to come for drinks.” There was a chorus of apologies as they all came over to him and gave him a supportive pat on the back.

They went out for drinks later that night, Phil was glad of the distraction and was happy that Dan was able to join them. He’s pretty sure if Dan hadn’t he would have left 10 minutes into the evening to go back home and mope under his duvet.

“See, I told you coming out would be good for you.” Dan said, as he brought over a couple of drinks for them both.

“Shut up.” Phil chuckled. “I hate when you’re right, you get more cocky than usual.”

“Me? Cocky? Surely never Phil, I am anything if not modest and genuine and sincere 100% of the time.”

Phil raised an eyebrow as he looked at Dan. ”Whatever you say.”

-

Phil seemed to have been spending 24/7 with Dan. Literally. Guess that’s what you get when you hire your flatmate to photograph your band; it was lucky he got along with the rest of his bandmates so well.

Phil had been tasked with the job of collecting the Chinese takeout that was a 10 minute walk from PJ’s house. They were all currently sat in his lounge, the plan was to discuss band things and finish planning out some of the lyrics to a new song they were hoping to perform. This all lasted for about an hour before someone suggested Chinese takeout and they were now all sat discussing the latest episode of Game of Thrones.

“Someone order Chinese?” Phil asked, walking back into the house with 2 bags full of food. With the foo distributed between everyone Phil took his place back on the sofa next to Dan.

“There’s no way you’ll eat all that.” Phil commented, looking across at Dan’s plate.

“I think you underestimate me Phil.” He chuckled. “I’m very hungry.”

PJ looked up at Dan’s mountain of food on his plate. “Mate, if you eat all that I’ll be impressed. That’s enough for 2 people.”

“Yeah, even Ryan couldn’t eat all that and I have witnessed that man eat 50 chicken nuggets.” Jamie said, looking across at Ryan who was smiling triumphantly.

“Best day of my life that was.”

They talked and ate and played Mario Kart and PJ insisted on showing everyone the videos from his playlist on YouTube that consisted mainly of cats jumping from high places and terrible flute versions of pop songs.

Dan and Phil had stopped paying attention and instead were chatting quietly, leant back against the sofa.

“I was thinking of going back to uni you know. Doing photography properly.” Dan had said after a few seconds of silence.

“You should, that’s so great. You’d be amazing.” Phil said, smiling at Dan.

“I actually enjoy it so it wouldn’t be a drag unlike law.” He chuckled.

They sat talking and laughing and well, if anyone thought they were sat too close to one another nobody mentioned it.

-

Their headline show had been...well it had been amazing. Everyone was still riding on the high of the show 3 days later. Phil’s break-up had been completely shoved to the back of his mind and with no band practice (at least not for a few weeks before their next show) he actually had some free time to himself.

So naturally, he decided to spend his free time with his band mate PJ. They’d gone to a new pancake restaurant that had just opened in town and Phil had practically begged PJ to go with him as Dan had been busy all week.

“Phil, I’m telling you she’s great. We’ve been talking for a few weeks now and we’ve really hit it off.”

“I’m happy for you. Considering you met on Tinder she sounds great.” Phil said before shovelling a large forkful of pancake, covered in maple syrup into his mouth.

“Hey, now what’s that supposed to mean?” PJ asked, pointing his fork in Phil’s direction.

Phil cocked his head to one side and glared back at him. “You know what I mean. The app doesn’t exactly have the best reputation.”

“Well Sophie seems nice. I am 100% sure she isn’t a 50 year old man trying to catfish me so we’re good.”

Phil smiled back at him as he went back to his pancakes. “Nice to know someone's love life is flourishing.”

PJ chuckled as he looked at Phil, rather puzzled. “What do you mean mate, I thought you were...you know.”

Phil stared blankly at PJ, furrowing his brows. “Thought I was what? Me and Harry broke up weeks ago remember? I mean we’re still friends, kind of, but we’re not together.”

“What? No, no. Not Harry you dumbass. Dan.”

Phil almost choked on his food and let out a large cough before regaining his composure. “I’m sorry what? Dan? Peej, we’re just....friends.”

PJ cocked his head to one side and gave Phil a look of _‘really? You expect me to believe this bullshit.’_

“Phil, you have to be kidding me? We’ve all seen you 2 together, practically sitting on each others laps half the time.”

 _Was PJ right?_ Him and Dan had been closer recently but Dan was just being a good friend and supporting Phil through his break up. Nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Oh wait, Dan had said Phil looked really good in his new shirt with flamingos on it. And Dan had been extremely touchy the other day at that bar. But it was just Dan. Dan who had looked so incredibly good in that black and grey chequered shirt last week. Dan who always seemed to somehow make Phil feel warm all over whenever he smiled or laughed. _Oh shit._

“So...has everyone noticed?” Phil asked tentatively.

“I mean, it’s not like we try and notice but we’ve been hanging around with you both a lot lately. It’s hard not to.”

Thoughts and feelings from the past few weeks were flying around Phil’s head. H e was trying to make sense of everything, trying to analyse every second of contact him and Dan had had when suddenly it clicked in his head. He downed the last of his milkshake and shoved a £10 onto the table.

“I’m sorry, I need to go. I need to find Dan.” He said quickly before pushing his chair back and practically sprinting outside to hail a taxi.

When he arrived back home he didn’t even bother taking off his shoes as he ran into the lounge, hoping to find Dan.

“Dan…Dan are you home? Dan?” He called, running through the kitchen and into the dining room.

“I’m upstairs.” Came a muffled shout from upstairs as Phil ran up them 2 at a time. He rushed into Dan’s room, pushing open the door to see Dan who was sat on his bed on his laptop.

“Bloody hell Phil. You look like you’ve ran a marathon.”

Phil was panting as he leant against the door. “Dan, I uh…” He stammered out as he looked at Dan who was sat smiling at him from his bed, his dimple appearing on his cheek.

“Do you still wanna go on that date with me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> total surprise ending right? never would have guessed they'd get together what a total plot twist.


	4. EPILOGUE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PSYCHE! bet yall thought that was the end well it's not. who doesn't enjoy a good epilogue??

**1 MONTH LATER**

“Harry! Hey!” Phil called, walking over to the bar where Harry was stood, a pint in his hand. “What did you think?”

“You were amazing, you looked really good up there.”

Phil blushed slightly and looked down to straighten his shirt. “Yeah, th-thanks. I was so nervous.” He chuckled. “Thanks for coming by the way, how have you been?”

Harry took a sip of his drink and nodded. “Yeah, I’ve been great. Off to New York next month on a business trip which is, you know, amazing!” He grinned.

Phil smiled back, genuinely pleased Harry was moving forward in his career. “That’s amazing, always knew you’d do well.”

“And I always knew you’d be a rockstar!” He joked.

“Hey Phil, all the guys are heading over to that bar. They do 2 for 1 cocktails on a Satur-” Dan said, rushing up to Phil and placing his hand on Phil’s arm. He stopped mid sentence as he looked up and saw who Phil was talking to.

“Harry...Hi.”

Harry smiled back, his eyes glossing over Dan’s hand as it moved to the small of Phil’s back.

“Sorry for interrupting.” Dan chuckled nervously. “I’ll uh, I’ll see you in a bit yeah Phil?” Phil merely nodded, his eyes fixed on Harry’s shoes.

“It was nice to see you Harry.” He smiled sincerely before rushing off through the crowd, his hand pulling away from Phil’s back.

Harry took a sip of his drink and cleared his throat, looking up at Phil. Phil could feel Harry’s eyes staring at him, like he could see straight through Phil and right through the crowd. Not really knowing what to say, and deciding he couldn’t stare at Harry’s shoes for much longer he lifted his head to make eye contact with him.

Harry was smiling softly at him and took another sip of his drink before placing the empty glass down. “I’m happy for you mate. Always thought you looked better together than we ever did.” He chuckled, trying to ease the tension.

Phil felt some of the weight lift from his shoulders as he smiled back. “Th-thanks. It’s nothing serious yet...just seeing how things go, you know.”

“Yeah. Anyway, I’d better head off. It was nice seeing you again Phil.” He walked forward and wrapped his arms around Phil in a gentle hug. Phil reciprocated and hugged him back tightly.

“Thanks for coming.” Phil said as Harry pulled away. He simply nodded in response and turned around to leave, leaving Phil alone at the bar.

“God I’m sorry Phil, did I make things awkward?” Dan blurted out when Phil came back into the dressing room 5 minutes later.

“No, no. It was fine. He was fine.” He said to Dan. He reached his hand forward and brushed his fingers over Dan’s arm. “So, this bar then? Where are we going?”

Dan and the rest of his bandmates started speaking animatedly as the finished packing up their equipment. Phil chuckled “All I heard was cocktails and bar.”

“We’re going to The Cove. You know that bar on the corner, they have arcade games and good beer.” Jamie supplied.

Phil nodded. “Sounds good to me.”

The rest of the band headed out the back door to where Jamie's car was as they threw their instruments into the boot. Phil grabbed his guitar and walked next to Dan as they walked outside.

“Harry was really sweet actually.” Phil said. “It was nice to see him.”

Dan simply nodded, looking down at his feet as Phil loaded up his guitar. “Did he uh...I mean, did you tell him about…”

“He said he was happy for me. If that’s what you’re asking.”

“Right.” Dan nodded again, shoving his hands in his jacket pockets.

“Hey, you’re not jealous are you?” Phil asked raising his brow, a subtle hint at a conversation they’d had before when Harry and Phil were together.

Dan pulled his hand from his pocket and shoved Phil’s arm. “No, no. I’m not, of course not.”

“Well then,” Phil leant in and kissed Dan’s cheek. “Nothing to worry about then is there?”

Dan smiled, a blush creeping across his face as he looked up at Phil. “No, there isn’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok this is the real end. i hope you all enjoyed this little fic (not that little tbh 10k words is A Lot.) i have had sooooo much fun writing this and crafting it and i hope you all enjoyed reading it.
> 
> please leave comments and kudos and share with your friends, print it off, make a shrine for it etc whatever u wanna do. thank u all for reading <3


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